Teaching at an institution that is primarily geared toward scientists and engineers can be rather daunting for liberal artsy Lady Sparks. This semester I’m teaching a composition course that revolves around zombies in popular media. I have been told that it is quite “badass”. I’ve certainly been having a blast teaching it, but every now and again the tech atmosphere of this institution rears its ugly head. I present you with several recent student discussions.
Scenario 1:
Student X: “Professor, I just don’t think this scenario is realistic. I mean, how could a mysterious “pulse” from cell phones start turning people into zombies? This is completely unbelievable. There is no scientific logic at work here.”
Lady Sparks: “Well [Student Name], I’m not sure that Stephen King’s primary aim was for realism in this story. As we’ve discussed in class, the cell phone as catalyst for zombie apocalypse has a larger symbolic function…”
Student X: “Yes, yes. But I really think some of the narratives we’ve been looking at this semester are completely implausible. We need definitive and believable reasons for zombies coming into existence.”
Lady Sparks: “Like, say, Rage infected monkeys?”
Student X: “Exactly!”
Scenario 2:
Student Y: “So, I’m not sure what’s wrong with my project topic proposal.”
Lady Sparks: “Well, as I noted on your draft, your focus is too general. How are you planning to develop an argument about the texts?”
Stduent Y: [blank expression + pause] “What do you mean?”
Lady Sparks: “Er…what do you think the texts are trying to say about your main idea?”
Student Y: [blinking] “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”
Lady Sparks: “Okay, remember how we’ve been analyzing and interpreting meaning in texts all semester? What are some of your interpretations of the texts you want to use in this project?”
Student Y: [long pause] “I don’t have any.”
Lady Sparks: “Uh…well why did you pick this topic?”
Student Y: “I couldn’t think of anything else.”
Lady Sparks: “Right… [insert some efforts to get Student Y thinking about some key examples from the text, but yielding no results]
Student Y: “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand symbolism or any of that stuff.”
Lady Sparks: [having mild but contained panic attack] “But [Student Y], we’ve been addressing this all semester. I’m sure you also had to perform textual analysis in some of your high school English classes. Let’s try and review what you do understand.”
Student Y: “Oh, well I never understood it in high school either.”
Lady Sparks: [marshalling her resolve] “Okay, let’s think about one of the examples we discussed in class. In Night of the Living Dead, the scene in which Ben and Mr. Cooper have the final struggle for the shotgun is very important to the narrative. Why?”
Student Y: “Because Mr. Cooper wants the gun.”
Lady Sparks: “Why does he want the gun?”
Student Y: [look of honest confusion] “I don’t understand.”
Lady Sparks: “Why does Mr. Cooper’s character want the gun so badly?”
Student Y: “Because it would be more practical for killing zombies.”
Lady Sparks: “….well what did we discuss about this scene in class?”
Student Y: “I don’t remember.”
Lady Sparks: “Did you take notes?”
Student Y: “No.”
Lady Sparks: “Okay, well let me refresh your memory. Ben ends up being the “leader” of the group of survivors but Mr. Cooper wants to be in that position and spends much of the film complaining about his lack of authority within the group. He views the gun, which Ben controls, as the symbol of power that he craves [I skipped over the phallic signification of such an object as Student Y was already looking mystified]. Why is it significant that when he tries to take the gun from Ben he is ultimately unsuccessful?
Student Y: “Yeah. I don’t get any of this stuff. I mean, the gun is for shooting zombies. I don’t see any other meaning.”
Lady Sparks: [mental scream of anguish] “Okay [Student Y], I think we’ve got a lot of work to do….”
