Bada, bada, BLING!!!!
Posted by ladysparks on April 13, 2008
Damn those evil geniuses at Swarovski Crystal! How I covet this glorious hair accessory (sure, it’s pretty much a tiara, but Lady Sparks could rock it like nobody’s business!). I made the very bad decision to “browse” in the Swarovski store at the mall and immediately had a bling-gasm when I spied this baby. Seriously folks, this image doesn’t do the real thing justice. I was very nearly blinded by its supreme sparkletude under the overhead store lights. It glowed like the freaking holy grail of bling and I practically fell to my knees in supplication. And then, I was promptly denied. As the Swarovski website attests, this beauty is a whopping $525. Leave it to Lady Sparks to immediately gravitate the most freaking expensive tiara in the whole bloody collection (a quick perusal of their website confirmed this sad fact)!
*le sigh* My sentiments toward Swarovski Crystals are much the same as my feelings about Steve Madden shoes–extremely vexxed love-hate. The products I like from both of these designers always draw me in with false promises, only to laugh in my face once I’ve fallen in complete lust with them. The former because of cost, the latter because of size (curse you Steve Madden and your just *always* slightly too narrow size 10s!).
Why must the bling I covet be so costly? I’m starting to think I seriously need to find a patron to support my bling fetish.
Voila dear readers, yet another piece of bling-tastic awesomeness that I desire with every fiber of my being:
These Bulgari glasses give me heart palpitations! I tried them on in the Bulgari store at the mall (same day as Swarovski–I’m still in withdrawal) and they fit me perfectly. This is a HUGE deal. Let me explain. For those who do not know, since birth Lady Sparks was gifted with, shall we say, a gigantic cranium (to accommodate her large brain of course). Hence, it often proves nigh on impossible to find glasses that fit. But like bling-fated destiny, these glasses seemed like they were made just for me. And the color?!?!?!?! OMFG!!!! I thought the sales clerk was going to call security when I went into ecstatic raptures in her store. Parting with them was like leaving behind a piece of my soul. *sobs* Because, once again, my modest income cannot pay for glasses that are nearly $400!
Anyone care to start a Bling Fund for me? I will accept all donations gladly.
Frankie Rabelais said
Our pal Nikki LaRue once said that if you don’t get married at, like, 22, you should get to do Grownup Stuff Registry so other people can buy you your plates. I think one could easily morph that so that you could have a Blingy Stuff Registry. For one thing, if you set it up so that everyone could chip in for your glasses and tiara (which every woman, and several men, should have) for your birthday, then everyone would know they were getting something that you not just wanted, but coveted with the lust of Buffy for Angel, or Seth for Ryan, or most people for Nathan Fillion.
Brian said
Excuse me: people are supposed to covet TUDYK not Nathan Fillion? (He says in his best Stacey-from-DARIA voice). (:
Frankie Rabelais said
Um, the Tudyk is a gem known only to few. (Well, not so much since the world got to see his excellent hiney in Death at a Funeral.) Whereas Fillion’s green apple calls out with its neon clarion, Tudyk’s toukas is quiet in its manly, but no less excellent (just not quite as big, which is OK, because on a man, an ass can indeed get too bulbous), glory. Only a select, honored few get access to the Tudykous.
Hey, Lady Sparks, don’t you love it when we come to visit?
Lady Sparks said
While I fancy the Fillion fanny as much as the next Whedon-verse fangirl, I do believe my lust for certain bling transcends this. It takes on a degree of desire that is, dare I say it, divine?
But then again, I have yet to see the Tudyk tush…perhaps I should reserve judgment for the time being. For the moment, I will merely liken my lust that which I felt for Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy back in yon undergraduate days. Let us just say that the scene in the pond provided Lady Sparks with plenty of fodder for autoerotic enjoyment!